I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize