I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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