OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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