How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
you made out with another girl for some wings
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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