before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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