some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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