Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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