he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
