i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
