I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
