Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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