When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
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