just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
