no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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