Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Randomize
