apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
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