For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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