at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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