shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
that's an acceptable place to lick
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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