I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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