things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Randomize
