Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
