I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
What a dumb baby whore.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize