i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
