i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize