1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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