God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
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