Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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