i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
He felt like a one man threesome
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
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