What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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