I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
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