You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
