it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
