you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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