I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
