we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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