I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
soo... how was my night?
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