that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
