When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
where are you?
Hypothermia
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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