i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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