yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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