Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
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Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
