The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
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