Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Soap is not a condiment
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
