I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
