Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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