I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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