You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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