Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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