its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
