At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
