So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
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