I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
She's the barista slut.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
