"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
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