whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
