She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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