You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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