she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
So vagazzling was a success
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize