Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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