My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize