The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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