That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
