Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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