worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize