I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize