garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
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