Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
